


Carwash Neighbor

by seventeensteps



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, M/M, kylo loves his car
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 11:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14163405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seventeensteps/pseuds/seventeensteps
Summary: Hux led a normal life, and Kylo was always washing his car (and byalwayshe meantliterally all the time).





	Carwash Neighbor

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this [pic](https://i.imgur.com/XAVHOTX.jpg) of Mr. Driver and all I can think of is Kylo washing a car.  
> (Thank you, leadsan, for showing such glory to me.)

Hux woke up with a start to the sound of his screeching alarm clock. His blurry eyes didn't register the angry red digits at first. He squinted and looked closer, nearly smashing his face against the corner of his nightstand. _Oh shit_.

He needed to be on the train like fifteen minutes _ago_. He shouldn't have binged that shitty sit-com last night. Now he felt pretty groggy and guilty and the idea of another day just sitting purposelessly in a cubicle almost made him want to puke. Jesus fuck he really shouldn't have watched that show.

And now he was so fucking late.

He sprinted through his morning routine like a madman and jumped out the front door in record time, all the while trying to tame his chaotic red hair with his fingers. He was almost out of his garden when he heard a familiar tune, and he couldn't help but look.

The house next to him had been empty for quite a while, but now he just noticed that there were several cardboard boxes stacking on top of each other like a small town in his neighboring garden. His eyes followed the origin of that tune -- a man, with arms bigger than the size of Hux's skinny legs, was carrying three more boxes into the garden. He might have noticed Hux, because he suddenly stopped whistling, and lowered the boxes so Hux could see his face.

Damn.

_Damn._

"Hi, I'm your new neighbor," he said, and added, "I would shake your hand if I could," eyeing the boxes in his very muscular arms. He was wearing a white undershirt that was three sizes too small. His voice was deep and a bit gruff. And Hux noticed how, despite carrying all those boxes, he did not pant. At all.

"Hi," Hux said, speeding up his pace again, and quickly added, "It's all right because I'm really late right now." He took a sharp right and started running. To the train station. Not away from this tall, long-haired, sweaty encounter which Hux was totally unprepared for.

"See you later," his dark-haired neighbor said loudly after him. Hux's heart was racing.

He was sure that it was from running.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

When he was about to go home that evening, Phasma mentioned that he looked like a corpse.

"Uh huh," he told her.

"Don't binge watch a shitty sit-com," she told him.

"I know." He tapped the first-floor button, and the door slid close.

"And go talk to your hot, new neighbor."

"Shut up."

She sniggered. "You can let him carry you into your house with one arm. It's okay."

"I shouldn't have told you that." He groaned.

"Too late." She smacked his back. Hux knew it was out of adoration but damn she could have just 'patted' him instead.

And if he told her that again, she would just say that it was his own fault to be this 'fragile'.

(That was her word choice, of course, not his.)

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

He was finally home around ten (Phasma decided to drag him to a club, and let him sit there, nursing his one bottle of beer while watching her dance with a man that was half-intimidated, half-mesmerized with her), and was trying to unlock his front door with his jelly fingers when he heard another open.

"Hey, you're finally home." It was his hot, new neighbor. Also Phasma's words, not his.

Hux grimaced. He actually wanted to sleep right now, and not in the mood for a nighttime chat with a stranger, hot or not. "Hey. I, uh-"

"Good night," he said, straight face, and walked over to hand Hux a mug of- _tea_?

"Thank you." Hux told him. The tea -- chamomile, and still warm -- smelled very nice to his sleepless brain. The dark-haired man nodded, and went back to his house.

Hux looked at the mug (with Darth Vader face on it, huh) and drank the tea. He would put the mug in the sink when he finished, and left the thinking part for tomorrow morning. Saturday was a good day for contemplation, because Hux had basically no life.

That night Hux dreamed about a duck jumping over dogs that smelled like chamomile.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

It was a weird-ass dream. Hux had to admit that that was the second weirdest dream he'd ever had, losing only to that dream involving wet wipes and carrots he had when he was 18.

When Hux saw that mug again in the morning light, a question popped into his mind. It was a strange thing to ask himself before 10 AM but did that man _wait for Hux to get home?_ If he didn't then how? And more importantly _why_? Hux wasn't sure if he wanted to think about it. He thought about texting Phasma, but finally decided against it because who knew what she would do with that kind of information.

After his breakfast, sunny-side-ups with bacons and a glass of milk, Hux washed his dishes along with that Darth Vader mug while planning on how to return it. He still had no strategy whatsoever when he opened his front door. He was going to water his garden first and then- _whoa_.

Whoa. Okay. Hux told himself to blink, but still. Wow. "Good morning...?" That wasn't supposed to become a question.

His neighbor, whose name Hux didn't know yet, was wearing a mustard yellow tank top and a pair of bright lime green shorts, both of which were definitely too tight to be legal. Annnnnd the fabric was really sticking to his, uh, abs, god help him, because it was wet. And hey it was wet because his neighbor was washing a cherry red Lamborghini.

Right. Um. Now Hux felt like he was intruding somehow. The man was rubbing a sponge passionately against his car. There were bubbles and foam everywhere. Hux thought he didn't hear what Hux said (maybe the water was too strong), but then the man flipped his stray dark hair away from his eyes with a sharp twist of his neck, and looked up at Hux through his Ray-Ban.

"Good morning." He said with no emotion and kept scrubbing, leaning over the hood of his car to reach the roof and scrub there too.

"So. This is your mug." Hux walked carefully toward him, trying not to get himself into contact with all the water that was splashing around all over the man's front yard. "Thank you very much."

"You're welcome," he said, and put the sponge down. He took the mug, and wiped his other hand on his shorts, which was soaking wet, before offering it toward Hux. "Hello again. I'm Kylo Ren, you new neighbor. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Ren." Hux didn't catch the first name. Kyle. Kai. Or something. He also didn't want to take that hand. Hux wished the man realized it was disgusting, but took it anyway. He hated wet hands. "Hux. Armitage Hux."

Ren pushed his shades up above his head then, and smirked -- _smirked?_ \-- at Hux. "Let's become a good neighbor to each other."

"Of course." Hux noticed the moles, and kind of hated himself for wanting to count them.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

The next time Hux stepped outside, he saw Ren again, in his front yard, washing the same cherry red Lamborghini.

"Hey," the man greeted him.

"Hey," Hux said back. And quickly escaped into the house. He planned on coming back out again when there was no Ren anywhere in sight.

Except Ren was always there, every day, washing his car. Sometimes it was his motorcycle. But every time he would be there, intensely washing one of his vehicles.

One day Hux just couldn't take it anymore, so, while watering his plants, he turned to Ren who was washing his Ducati that day. "Why are you always washing your car?"

Ren actually stopped his movement. Usually he would continue cleaning his babies even when Hux was talking to him. He looked at Hux, and it was so intense Hux began to think he did something wrong by asking that question, but then, without blinking, he said, "I just want my car very clean."

"Oh," Hux said, very eloquently, and went back to his plants. So he wanted his car to be very clean, to the point of washing it almost 24/7. Hux wasn't even sure if Ren ate anything at all while living here.

Well, good to know, he guessed.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

It was totally bucketing down on Thursday when Hux got home. He remembered it vividly because he almost got hit by a car three times while running home from the tube. He was bringing some work documents home with him because Organa said the client would be coming in tomorrow instead of the day after it.

So he was running home like a lunatic, and as he rounded the corner -- Hux could see his front door -- one of the files decided that it would be absolutely grand to slide itself to the concrete below, bringing every single pieces of paper in Hux's arms down with it.

He was lucky that Ren, as always, was washing his car, even in the rain, because as soon as Ren saw him, he sprinted toward Hux in two seconds, and helped him pick everything off the ground.

They ran to Hux's house, and inside the second Hux unlocked the front door. There was a small puddle at both of their feet.

"Fuck me." Hux eyed the salvaged documents. And to Ren, he said, "Thank you. You can put everything on the counter."

"Always." Ren was making the puddle bigger by walking around, but that was Hux's fault. Hux followed him and dumped the pieces of crap onto the countertop. It actually pained him to look at them. He debating between trying to air them out one by one, and calling his boss to get him another copy of these documents right now if she wanted the work done. And she had a car. Many cars, actually.

After one second, Hux was already dialing Organa. He told Ren to stay still when the man tried to exit Hux's house. "I don't think the car needs to be washed today, Ren."

To his surprise, the man who was dripping more and more water onto his Kitchen floor actually listened to him. Huh. Organa picked up with a sigh. She knew Hux wouldn't call her if there was nothing urgent. "What's wrong?"

Hux told her about the incident, and she told him she 'fucking hate the English rain' and hung up. She called him back to inform him that she would get Phasma and Mitaka to do the paperwork instead because they were available, so Hux didn't have to worry about it, and honest-to-god apologized to him for pushing that much work toward him with such a short notice in the first place.

He still couldn't believe what just happened when he put the phone down. Ren was watching him. He hadn't moved from his spot in front of the door at all since Hux told him to stop moving. He made Hux think of a large, black dog he'd owned when he was 12. Her name was Sophie.

"Don't go yet," Hux told him. "I'll make you a cuppa. Now take your clothes off before you turn my house into Venice. The shower is the second door on the left."

Ren's eyes were wide. "Aren't you going to wine and dine me first?"

"Do you care about the order?" Hux shoved a fresh towel he got from the kitchen cupboard into Ren's hand, and used one to dry his own hair.

Ren smiled then, and Hux's heart sort of did a little back flip.

"I don't."

And then Ren started to strip.

 


End file.
